09/10/2010
I promised Ella I would not tell anyone what she said. So, this post will stay in draft form until right before I create the book for the girls. I hope that doesn't make you mad Ella this was just too cute not to write down and my old brain will forget.
Last night we were doing errands while Elizabeth was at gymnastics.
Ella said she wanted to tell me something but I can't tell anyone .
Ok.
I have a boyfriend at school Mom.
Really? What's his name?
I don't remember. But sometimes we hold hands.
Wow, that's nice having a friend to hold hands with.
Is it ok I call him my boyfriend Mom?
Sure - that's ok. Is he in your class?
yes he is... don't tell anyone ok Mom.
I promise I won't say a word.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
I am so sorry Girls
10/29/09
This morning Mom was not the best she could be. I really have no excuse for my comments and reactions. I am the adult and should behave better. I am really sorry I said I am done being your mom. I know you both were not listening and you both were sassing me and you both pushed all my buttons... I should never have said that. What I said was since you two don't want to listen you must not want me to be your mom so I'll stop for now. I NEVER Meant it and I am so very sorry. When you read this update I need you to know that I am human too. I make mistakes and that was a big one. I will love you forever and be your Mom even when you don't want me to. That is what I should have said. All I can say in my defense is work has been very stressful, I have been fighting a wicked cold/virus and have no energy to get anything done. I am tired of driving all over the place and tired of not being at home and I am stressed out about my bills and all the things that need to be fixed in the house. But the most important thing I do is take care of you two and I fear I am not doing the best I can for you two. I promise to make sure to do the best I can every day for you both. I love you Elizabeth. I love you Ella. Mom makes mistakes too and I hope you forgive me and that I didn't damage you forever. I still remember the time Dad said he wished he had died instead of Mom and how hard that was to hear. I know now that he meant it was so hard being the parent and that he missed his wife but it scared me. I hope I didn't just do the same to you.
This morning Mom was not the best she could be. I really have no excuse for my comments and reactions. I am the adult and should behave better. I am really sorry I said I am done being your mom. I know you both were not listening and you both were sassing me and you both pushed all my buttons... I should never have said that. What I said was since you two don't want to listen you must not want me to be your mom so I'll stop for now. I NEVER Meant it and I am so very sorry. When you read this update I need you to know that I am human too. I make mistakes and that was a big one. I will love you forever and be your Mom even when you don't want me to. That is what I should have said. All I can say in my defense is work has been very stressful, I have been fighting a wicked cold/virus and have no energy to get anything done. I am tired of driving all over the place and tired of not being at home and I am stressed out about my bills and all the things that need to be fixed in the house. But the most important thing I do is take care of you two and I fear I am not doing the best I can for you two. I promise to make sure to do the best I can every day for you both. I love you Elizabeth. I love you Ella. Mom makes mistakes too and I hope you forgive me and that I didn't damage you forever. I still remember the time Dad said he wished he had died instead of Mom and how hard that was to hear. I know now that he meant it was so hard being the parent and that he missed his wife but it scared me. I hope I didn't just do the same to you.
Private - was not published on the blog.
9/12/12
Don't worry girls... I did not publish this one. But, I had to put it down for us to enjoy later.
Elizabeth - you are in the middle of little girl and young adult. I guess they call this tween years. The night before last I went in to check you while you were sleeping. There was a new smell in your room. You had gymnastics and we came home late with no time to shower before bed. You did shower the next morning but there was body odor. That was a first. So, when we went shopping for the Wolf Ridge retreat, you asked for deoderant. You also have been asking about shaving your legs as well as looking for underarm hair. So, your body is changing. Your emotions are too and you are doing an amazing job handling it all.
Anyway, last night we had a lesson in using deoderant. I showed you with the lid on and you practiced. Then you tried it with the real stuff and you said it felt good. Ella was in the shower when we were doing that.
When you got out Ella you wanted to try too. So, Elizabeth showed you as I showed her. You thought it tickled - alot. :-)
I love how you two are changing and growing and am so blessed to be your mom.
Don't worry girls... I did not publish this one. But, I had to put it down for us to enjoy later.
Elizabeth - you are in the middle of little girl and young adult. I guess they call this tween years. The night before last I went in to check you while you were sleeping. There was a new smell in your room. You had gymnastics and we came home late with no time to shower before bed. You did shower the next morning but there was body odor. That was a first. So, when we went shopping for the Wolf Ridge retreat, you asked for deoderant. You also have been asking about shaving your legs as well as looking for underarm hair. So, your body is changing. Your emotions are too and you are doing an amazing job handling it all.
Anyway, last night we had a lesson in using deoderant. I showed you with the lid on and you practiced. Then you tried it with the real stuff and you said it felt good. Ella was in the shower when we were doing that.
When you got out Ella you wanted to try too. So, Elizabeth showed you as I showed her. You thought it tickled - alot. :-)
I love how you two are changing and growing and am so blessed to be your mom.
Decision made
Today is Elizabeth's last day for Team gymnastics.
The discussion to leave started last fall. I asked her to push through to the last hurdle so she could compete as she has worked so hard up to that point. I told her we would revisit the decision after she had competed. I was so proud watching her compete and be part of a team and she seemed to like doing it. At times she even said she liked it and told her young friends that it was a good path. So I was a bit surprised when she said she didn't want to compete, didn't want to be on team and wanted to take a break.
The discussion to leave started last fall. I asked her to push through to the last hurdle so she could compete as she has worked so hard up to that point. I told her we would revisit the decision after she had competed. I was so proud watching her compete and be part of a team and she seemed to like doing it. At times she even said she liked it and told her young friends that it was a good path. So I was a bit surprised when she said she didn't want to compete, didn't want to be on team and wanted to take a break.
Two steps to mark the change to independance
Saturday the girls rode home from DQ alone
Then they stayed home alone while I ran errands
Turns out I took too long to update the blog. This was from 2013 but the pics and text are now gone. Shit.
Then they stayed home alone while I ran errands
Turns out I took too long to update the blog. This was from 2013 but the pics and text are now gone. Shit.
Whew
I wasn't sure if I could get back in here but I found my password Whew.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving 2017.
Dad loved Thanksgiving.
I remember when we were kids (after Mom had passed), we were invited to join with family for the holiday. I remember having dinners at Aunt Alice's and Uncle Gary's. We also were at Aunt Joanne's and Uncle Jerry's But, I don't think Dad started really loving Thanksgiving until he was the chief cook. He would cook the turkey early and then put it in a crock pot to warm it up on Thanksgiving. I helped Dad on the day of the event so you would think I would have mad skills but nope. My brothers and their wives have been great hosts over the years.
Tomorrow we are going to Jere and Lindsay's for the holiday. Please tell me how Jeremy can be old enough to do that. LOL Dad would have loved going to his Grandkids homes for a Holiday I expect Mom would have too but I have no memories of her and Thanksgiving. That makes sense as I was 8 when she passed away. I was 54 when Dad passed away. Lots of memories between 8 and 54 - thank you Dad. Plus, I don't feel 54 nor do I feel 58. I do have a couple memories of Mom and Christmas though. I wish I had memories of Mom at the farm with the family. Loved the farm. I stayed pretty close to Grandma though. We had lots of fun at the farm as well as when Grandpa and Grandma moved into town.
Where did we celebrate Thanksgiving November 1968? Mom had passed away August 1968. Maybe at Grandma and Grandpa Polman, Maybe at Alice and Gary's, Maybe at Joanne and Jerry's. I just don't recall. I do remember Xmas 1968 though. I remember having a great winter hat with white fur and pom poms on long strings. I also remember recording XMas songs on a reel to reel machine to send to an uncle in Vietnam. It could have been Uncle Jere or Uncle Steve. I think Aunt Joanne brought Kevin, Jim and I to Grandma and Grandpas that Xmas. I remember going to Midnight mass and wondering when Dad would get there. I remember worrying about Dad. It was only 5 months since Mom had passed away so it was hard to be apart from my Dad.
Its funny how feelings change. I was missing Dad a few hours ago and now I am smiling with the memories. Thank you Dad for what you did for me. You created traditions and I knew I was ok when I saw you in the room. Hope your Thanksgiving is Grand. I do thank you too Mom. but you have been gone so long and I just don't remember you as well I as remember Dad. But I do remember Love. You loved us. That I know.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving 2017.
Dad loved Thanksgiving.
I remember when we were kids (after Mom had passed), we were invited to join with family for the holiday. I remember having dinners at Aunt Alice's and Uncle Gary's. We also were at Aunt Joanne's and Uncle Jerry's But, I don't think Dad started really loving Thanksgiving until he was the chief cook. He would cook the turkey early and then put it in a crock pot to warm it up on Thanksgiving. I helped Dad on the day of the event so you would think I would have mad skills but nope. My brothers and their wives have been great hosts over the years.
Tomorrow we are going to Jere and Lindsay's for the holiday. Please tell me how Jeremy can be old enough to do that. LOL Dad would have loved going to his Grandkids homes for a Holiday I expect Mom would have too but I have no memories of her and Thanksgiving. That makes sense as I was 8 when she passed away. I was 54 when Dad passed away. Lots of memories between 8 and 54 - thank you Dad. Plus, I don't feel 54 nor do I feel 58. I do have a couple memories of Mom and Christmas though. I wish I had memories of Mom at the farm with the family. Loved the farm. I stayed pretty close to Grandma though. We had lots of fun at the farm as well as when Grandpa and Grandma moved into town.
Where did we celebrate Thanksgiving November 1968? Mom had passed away August 1968. Maybe at Grandma and Grandpa Polman, Maybe at Alice and Gary's, Maybe at Joanne and Jerry's. I just don't recall. I do remember Xmas 1968 though. I remember having a great winter hat with white fur and pom poms on long strings. I also remember recording XMas songs on a reel to reel machine to send to an uncle in Vietnam. It could have been Uncle Jere or Uncle Steve. I think Aunt Joanne brought Kevin, Jim and I to Grandma and Grandpas that Xmas. I remember going to Midnight mass and wondering when Dad would get there. I remember worrying about Dad. It was only 5 months since Mom had passed away so it was hard to be apart from my Dad.
Its funny how feelings change. I was missing Dad a few hours ago and now I am smiling with the memories. Thank you Dad for what you did for me. You created traditions and I knew I was ok when I saw you in the room. Hope your Thanksgiving is Grand. I do thank you too Mom. but you have been gone so long and I just don't remember you as well I as remember Dad. But I do remember Love. You loved us. That I know.
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Can I just say the school year has been busy?
I think I need to be honest and say with work and school I don't remember to post on the blog anymore.
Just have to say how proud I am of my girls.
Elizabeth is doing such a great job at De as a freshman. She made the honor roll first semester and is looking like the same path will take place the second semester. She signed up for classes for next year and followed her Math teacher's advice. She is taking two math classes next year. She works really hard on her homework and I have to remind myself to not say anything when she has music playing or a show on her phone at the same time. If I recall correctly, I may have done the same when I was her age. Elizabeth is meeting so many great kids and developing a strong core group of kids as her BFFs. This school is the perfect one for Elizabeth and I love seeing the young adult forming. Enjoy your time there Elizabeth and continue to soar. The pic below was from the Freshman team building type of event I believe.
Just have to say how proud I am of my girls.
Elizabeth is doing such a great job at De as a freshman. She made the honor roll first semester and is looking like the same path will take place the second semester. She signed up for classes for next year and followed her Math teacher's advice. She is taking two math classes next year. She works really hard on her homework and I have to remind myself to not say anything when she has music playing or a show on her phone at the same time. If I recall correctly, I may have done the same when I was her age. Elizabeth is meeting so many great kids and developing a strong core group of kids as her BFFs. This school is the perfect one for Elizabeth and I love seeing the young adult forming. Enjoy your time there Elizabeth and continue to soar. The pic below was from the Freshman team building type of event I believe.
With Chinese Class on a field trip in 2017
End of Football Cheer Oct 2016
Sept 1, 2016 Cheer!
Ella is also doing great. She was anxious about Middle School but its working out totally fine. She earned an award this year called the Purple Cow. Her school gives them out every month to one or two kids that show behavior that makes them stand out of the field, kind of like a purple cow would. When Mr Z (Principal) announce her name, everyone cheered. They all know Ella as she is one of the kindest kids around that makes sure to check in on everyone - students and teachers. Thank you Grandma Jo for coming in for this.
November 2016
Ella and her classmates had a field trip in the Fall and she was not sure she wanted to go but ended up having the time of her life. She would go back again if she could.
Early morning arrival for the lux bus to Wolf Ridge.
Thank you Mrs Rogers for putting Ella in your group. She really gained alot from this trip.
Science class experiment time.
Advent Calendar for Religion class. Each white piece of paper had an idea for how to help people in the Advent time. The only thing I did was paint the wood sticks green.
Another win for Ella is how she is working through her anxiousness and becoming more true to herself. Just yesterday they had a round table discussion about depression and she was a little worried kids at her table would look right at her when the Macalester students were talking about depression and brain growth. Then Ella did an impromptu discussion about how to talk to someone with depression that is helpful to them. Proud of you kiddo.
We have also done some fun things as a family this year
In October my nephew Lee married Michelle and I am so happy for him. Michelle is a wonderful partner for Lee and they brought two more great nephews to the family. Welcome to the family Michelle, Dylan and Dalton! Thank you for asking Elizabeth and I to do the readings during your service. We were so happy to take part of your ceremony.
Halloween. JunFen and Muriel came with too. Tracy (Muriel's mom) and I stayed back and handed out candy and had some beers. :-)
We got together with our friends around the holidays. Always fun!
In November the girls and I went to an adoption event held at the Vikings training facility. Normally we don't go to these but this year it worked out.
The holiday tree in the Vikings Locker Room.
Bob Lurtzema showing the girls one of his Super Bowl rings the runners up got.
A very generous donor gave each of the kids a new bike. Ella had outgrown her other one so it was a blessing for us. Here is her bike - totally her style. It is one speed so we will see how it goes but she loves it. Elizabeth put her's together and then donated it to St Marks for their Gala. Her 5 speed bike was new last year.
We got together with family in December. This is Jim and Joyce. Sadly Aunt Joyce lost her battle with cancer (Cancer Sucks) a few months later. This post is dedicate to Auntie. She loved catching up with family on Facebook and other social media and I know she read this blog. I will miss you forever Joyce and am thankful you are no longer suffering. Jim was an amazing husband and I am so glad Joyce met him and they were great partners all these years. I still remember their wedding dance when I was 19. Love to my cousins Lynn, Laurie and Lyn.
Thank you to Tom and Lori. They gave us their Viking season tickets for one game. Elizabeth brought her friend Madison and we had a great time. Too bad it was frigid cold outside and the Vikings didn't win but the time spent there was priceless. Thank you again Tom!
Winter Carnival Feb 2017. My niece in law Laura asked if anyone wanted to join her and Cody and the girls and I along with Doreen and Alissa joined up. Thank you Laura - great idea.
Niece Alissa and Great Nephew Cody
Elizabeth sliding down the hill. Look at that hair. She is holding her hat because it had starting to fly off her head. She didn't want to lose her Viking Stocking Cap.
Ella and Laura helping Cody to skate. Such a pretty day and we had so much fun.
After lunch Mr Cody wanted to sit with me. I was honored to oblige.