Last night after her bath, I was drying Ella's hair. She said she wished her nose was like mine. I told her she had a pretty nose, but she thinks it is fat and even went so far as to suck her nose in. We talked about her nose is from her birth parents and it is beautiful. I don't think she agrees with me.
This morning Ella woke up early and came down to where I work in the basement. She had a bad dream where I left her and Elizabeth. I tried to reassure her that I would never do that. I hope she believes me... but it happened once to her already. I told her that my heart believes her birth Mom left her at the Orphanage because she just didn't know how to take care of Ella with her cleft lip and wanted her daughter to be helped. I also explained that we won't ever know for sure, but that is what I really believe.
I hope she was listening with her heart too.
I always wonder what is in my girls' heads over their first family. Today I asked Ella what she would say if she ever got to talk to her birth family. She said she would tell them it has been forever since she saw them. That is true Ella. She couldn't think of anything else to talk to them about after that.
Extra hugs Ella... you are loved and I am never letting you go.
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